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Jurassic World: Yep, Dinosaurs

Jurassic World: Yep, Dinosaurs
Amelia
  • On June 19, 2015
  • http://ameliajune.net

I can’t review this movie because it was… kinda awful. But on the other hand, it was supposed to be awful and campy and ridiculous and also dinosaurs, and it was totally all of those things. I will give you pros and cons instead. Spoilers ahoy, if that in any way matters to you.

Pros:

  • Fits very well with the other two sequels in tone and dinosaur awesomeness
  • The (pretty much only) lady in the movie is pretty awesome and doesn’t spend the whole movie being damseled Good role.
  • Chris Pratt is very attractive and also an alpha velociraptor. ALPHA VELOCIRAPTOR. He uses a clicker to train the fucking velociraptors like the Dog Whisperer. Raptor Whisperer.
  • Reappearance of old dinofriends
  • New dinosaur alliances
  • Lots and LOTS of cute references to the original movie
  • Invisible Velocitrex
  • Some clever “turn about” type dialogue moments that don’t go quite where you expect
  • Kids who are not annoyingly useless
  • Several rad dinofights
  • Dinosaurs
  • Great original score by John Williams still holds up
  • Phil Tippett is in the credits as “dinosaur consultant” or something which made me lol even though apparently Phil Tippett has no sense of humor

Cons:

  • No dinosaur with a ringtone
  • The only women in this movie are 4 actresses (3 of whom have very small roles) and a bunch of dinosaurs. There is one black dude. WTF GUYS Jurassic-Park-3-stare
  • Chris Pratt is not allowed to be very funny
  • Massive hanging plot line involving the delightful BD Wong (reprising his role from 1993) that you really want to go somewhere but doesn’t. Yet.
  • Some of the herbivores looked suspiciously like Jar Jar Binks
  • Some of the dino hybrids just looked stupid
  • Not enough dinofights/dinosaurs/scary moments/silly moments/poop
  • Pretty much everything else about this movie was awful
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