My Day So Far: A Study in Untreated ADHD
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Week, I’m posting some old pieces that relate to mental health and to braining in general. This was originally published on January 27th of 2013 (before I had health insurance! Thanks, Obama!) Enjoy!
A lot of people think ADHD is a made up disorder. You guys know that. Some of you probably even think it. That’s okay. (You’re wrong, but it’s okay to be wrong as long as you’re not a dick about it.)
As I mentioned in my last post, I went off my meds about a month ago because I’m cheap, and also because I’m an idiot. This morning has been an excellent reminder of why I need the damn things.
(Tangent: So, every time we put in my prescription for Concerta, the pharmacist asks for insurance information, and every time, we tell them we don’t have insurance. Every single time, they say, “Well, this is going to cost over $200, are you sure you want it?” and every time, we say, “Yes, we know, it cost that much last month, too.”
EVERY TIME, we get a phone call not long after asking if we’re really, REALLY sure we want the meds.
You guys. We live in a society where it is assumed that people will just not take necessary medications because they’re too expensive. That’s not cool. It shouldn’t be this way.
I woke up this morning, which is good because otherwise this post would be kind of boring. It would just be me writing about how I slept until noon and sleep is awesome. I mean, sleep IS awesome, but everyone knows that. You don’t need me to tell you.
Unless you go to a hellish alternate dimension where demons eat babies and you have to sit through your 7th grade algebra class every night. For you, sleep is probably not awesome. I feel bad for you.
For ME, sleep is awesome. Waking up to 9 year olds squealing and giggling because they had a sleepover last night is not as awesome, but it’s acceptable because blah blah blah sacrifice blah blah kids blah love. (translation: It’s what I’m supposed to do so that the therapist my kid hires when she’s 30 doesn’t think I was a cruel, disinterested mother that only had children so I wouldn’t have to wash dishes anymore. I did, actually, and that backfired HARD. Kids don’t do housework. Kids MAKE housework.)
This post so far is a pretty good representation or what my day has looked like. I sat down with a goal. I was going to explain how having ADHD hampers productivity and complicates my life.
MY DAY SO FAR. It started with “waking up”, which we’ve already covered.
Then we moved on to “finding food” (Actually, we moved to “putting on pants”, which is more complicated than it sounds because I’m an old lady with a very bad back, so I had to pick up my pajama pants with my foot – they were on my floor, where I like to hang them neatly every night before I go to sleep – and then try and maneuver myself into them without, you know, moving.)
Because I haven’t gone to the grocery store in a while, finding food consisted of actually having to make food. So I made muffins. I mixed the egg, oil, water, and muffin mix (YES muffin mix, I’m not Martha Fucking Stewart). Then I went to find a muffin pan and realized that one of my muffin pans was rusty, so I threw it away. Then I checked the rest of my bakeware to make sure that it hadn’t rusted, too.
Then I started a pot of tea. (I have this awesome tea thingy that’s like a coffee pot, but it makes tea. It’s cool.) I washed the carafe, cleaned out the basket, filled it up, started it…
… and remembered that I *thought* I had therapy tomorrow, but I wasn’t sure.
So I picked up my phone to check my calander and look! I had a text.
Replied to the text.
Put down the phone.
I needed to grease the muffin pan, so I went to the spice cabinet and got out the Pam rearranged it.
And realized that the oven was hot and the muffin mix was made, but the two had not yet been combined to create actual muffins. (Thankfully, I had another muffin pan that was not full of tetanus, so I used that one. I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain that, but I’ve met people on the internet before, so I’m explaining it anyway. I DON’T USE RUSTY BAKEWARE and then tell people about it.)
I greased the muffin pan. I filled up the muffin pan.
Still didn’t know if I had therapy! Picked up the phone, checked Twitter, put the phone down.
Stared in confusion at the tea maker, which was boiling, and then realized that I hadn’t put any tea into it. Nom, hot water.
Fed the dog. Turned on my computer.
Still no tea in the water.
Still no muffins in the oven.
Still no idea if I have therapy tomorrow.
I’ll cut it short: It took me two hours to make a pan of muffins and a pot of tea, and I didn’t know if I had therapy tomorrow until the fifth time I checked the phone. (And because I know myself, I called and double checked anyway. I do have therapy tomorrow, but I had entered the time into my calendar wrong.)
Everyone has days like this. The difference for someone like me is that every day is like this. It kind of sucks. A lot. I don’t tend to get a lot done, for some reason.
Really looking forward to Tuesday, when I can get my “fix”- not of stimulants, but of sanity.